Good Times/Bad Times

Ben and Joe enjoying a gelato during Ben's "Dreams Come True" trip to London

Looking for inspiration in other blogs from folks who are trying to live more locally, I ran across a couple that expressed the difficulties of committing energy to this during difficult times. One is undergoing treatment for metastasized breast cancer and, while she is still doing her best to eat frugally and intentionally, she also made the case for celebrating regularly by dining out. Another was recently divorced and trying to juggle the challenges of co-parenting with living with more awareness of her family’s ecological footprint. And these are people with the energy still to write about it.

When my son Ben was undergoing chemotherapy, we temporarily suspended just about every guideline we’d ever had for nutritious, responsible eating. Not only had he lost 30 pounds during the first two months of treatment, his taste buds were out of whack from the chemo. That combined with his desire for “comfort” food had us hopping into the car and driving to whatever fast food restaurant he dreamed might have something he felt like eating. Truth be told, I didn’t have the wherewithal to plan, buy ingredients for, or cook a meal half the time anyway – although I went through an anti-cancer, macrobiotic phase before throwing in the towel. We went on like this for over two years.  It does something to your head and to your palate (not to mention your waistline) when you are afraid that any meal might be one of your last. Not a healthy way to live by any measure.

Having a little distance from that dark time, and wanting to make up for time lost, we are excited about this new path. But I don’t waste time regretting the free-for-all of the last couple years. And I would never begrudge Dove or Susan or anyone for giving themselves a break during hard times either. 

But I do wonder how much of my family’s crazy eating came from a desire for comfort that might have come from someplace else. When Ben was in the hospital and for some time after, a number of families brought food to us, and really there was nothing better than that. The ongoing nature of Ben’s illness made this seem like an imposition to me. But I wish now I had been more open and less ashamed about accepting gifts of food from friends, family (and sometimes people we barely knew!). At this point, I hope that we can be one of those people to someone else when the occasion arises. 

It seems so right to use food to “celebrate.” Whether the life passage is joyful or of the more difficult variety, how good it is to mark that time with special food: comfort food for the bereaved, nourishing food for the sick, extravagant food for special times in life that need commemorating. The right food, lovingly prepared and generously given to someone in need of care from someone who cares – that’s making the most of what you’ve got at hand. You can’t really get more “local” than that.

Comments

[Susan Buhr]

Hi,
I just saw that someone came to StepWise Family from this post. I am so glad you found my experience to be helpful. I wish you and your family all the very best for your local eating and all that's in your life.

Susan